Dear Coleen

I’m a woman in my late thirties and I’m married with two young children. For a couple of years I’ve been having an affair with a married man who’s 20 years older than I am.

We met at the restaurant where I’m a waitress and I served his table when he was out with some colleagues.

He’s wealthy and lives in a big house with his wife (their kids are at boarding school). I, on the other hand struggle to make ends meet and look after my kids as my husband is pretty unreliable.

My lover often picks me up after work at the restaurant and we have an hour or two together, usually in a cheap hotel. The sex is great, but sometimes I feel that’s all he wants me for and I leave feeling pretty used and not proud of myself.

I enjoy having this other life, though. It takes me away from my mundane job and my home life, which can be stressful. I keep hoping he will tell me he wants to leave his wife to be with me, but I never push it and he’s never suggested it.

I know deep down it’s unlikely to lead anywhere, so why can’t I end it?