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Heidi and Spencer Pratt’s Plasticine presence, which seems to have been delivered via wormhole from a strange land where people are shrink-wrapped in vacuous packages ready-made for reality TV, is the exact product that’s appeared on “The Hills,” countless magazine covers and most recently, NBC’s “I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here!” (Msnbc.com is a joint venture between Microsoft and NBC Universal.)

So why do we care?

We care because they are America right now.

The common denominator between those who claim to loathe and the few who admit to liking the couple is the idea that the couple represents the American dream. Or at least the current, common iteration of it, where the goals are to grow up, be beautiful, have money and be famous.

That notion and the degree to which some hold it dear might be everything that’s not right with our country and culture, but it’s also a dream that’s been documented and aspired to by people long before the Pratts began to torture our sensibilities one publicity stunt at a time. It’s a frame of reference that bridges the gap between the Pratts in a Costa Rican jungle, and you spending another night in front a the TV.

The fact that Spencer can induce synaptic seasickness with alarming brevity adds texture to their act (though they say it is not one), and is exactly what engages us just when we’re ready to run in the opposite direction.

Case in point: During Spencer’s June 16 interview with Larry King, he described Al Roker as “an elderly man” who thought he could “parade my 22-year-old wife on television.”

Really, Spencer? Don’t you even know the meaning of the word “elderly”? And is that your best defense against an interviewer who asked questions that were not publicist approved and better yet, were actually relevant?

Spencer often appears to be the one charting the pair’s collective course of celebrity, but Heidi is complicit, too. How better to remain relevant than to appear in Playboy, one of the hallmarks of the American notion of free speech?

“It’s an amazing magazine, very iconic,” Heidi told Us Weekly just hours after her encounter with Roker on June 15. “You have to be a sex symbol, like Marilyn Monroe, to be considered!”

And with that, Heidi, and by the transitive property, Spencer (who will surely have some issue with how Playboy decides to parade his 22-year-old wife onto the pages of the magazine) live to see another news cycle.

That their success grows in direct proportion to what looks like nothing more than laziness and chicanery is bad enough. The fact that they play by the rules they seemingly wrote and we get sucked in only makes it worse. The only thing left to do is observe and hope that their American dream is one that we can all wake up from.

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Heidi Pratt may not be ready to confirm her upcoming appearance in the September issue of Playboy magazine, but one of her fellow reality starlets has no problem sharing the news.
While the “Hills” star remained coy on the subject during a series of interviews this week, Kim Kardashian told MTV News she actually helped convince Heidi to appear in the men’s magazine.
“Actually, I was in Mexico and I got a call from Heidi saying, ‘Call me right now,’ ” Kim told MTV News. “So I called her and she had said to me, ‘What do you think? What’s your opinion on if I were to do Playboy?’ ”
In response, Kim, who has posed for Playboy in the past, told Heidi to “go for it.”
“I think that now’s the time,” Kim added, of her conversation with Heidi. “I think it’s a very classy magazine. It’s artsy. I talked her through the whole process and helped her make up her mind.”
But Kim admitted she wasn’t the only one pushing the blonde to pose – husband Spencer was also an encouraging voice.
“Her and Spencer talked it over. They felt it was the right thing for her to do,” Kim said.
she and Spencer wouldn’t admit her session had already taken place during an interview with Access Hollywood on Monday.
“I would love to do Playboy. I think that it’s a great, reputable magazine,” Heidi told Access.
“If she was going to do it, it would be coming out on August 15,” Spencer hinted. “You know, if it existed.”

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Now that Lauren Conrad has made her exit from MTV’s “The Hills,” will the starlet follow in the footsteps of so many of her Hollywood contemporaries and go under the knife?
Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush recently caught up with Lauren at the book release party for her new novel, “L.A. Candy,” where she revealed her thoughts on getting work done.
“I don’t think so,” Lauren told Billy when asked if she had any plastic surgery plans. “But you know what, I prefer a flatter-chested look, that’s just kind of me. I think it’s more of a more of a fashion look. If you look at a lot of high-fashion models and things like that, they’re always you know, a little flatter… I like the way clothes fit better.”
“You don’t want…” Billy asked.
“Big boobs?” she said. “No, I mean… that’s what wonder bras are for!”
And LC said she’s not looking to get any Botox either – at least not anytime soon.
“I don’t know,” she said when asked about the wrinkle fighter. “I’m 23, I think that I’m good for a little bit. I don’t know, maybe later on.”
Now that LC isn’t living her life in front of a camera, obsessing about her appearance might be the last thing on her mind.
“I said I would do [‘The Hills’] for as long as I was happy and I wasn’t happy doing it any more,” she said of her departure from the hit MTV series after five seasons. “We all grew apart it wasn’t really a show about a group of friends any more. It was a show about a cast.”
In addition, LC said she’s not very connected with her infamous frenemy Heidi Pratt.
“I don’t have much of a relationship [with Heidi.] I mean, it’s friendly, if I see her, I’ll say ‘Hello,’ but that’s about it,” she explained.

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This week, a couple of tracks supposedly off Mary J. Blige’s upcoming album leaked on to the Internet. One track particularly stands out – but not for the right reasons.

The demo, “Stronger,” features Mary J. singing about working through a tough relationship, over the random interjections of a Mr. Chris Brown. Yes, the same Chris Brown who stands accused of assaulting his former lady love, pop songstress Rihanna.

As Tracie of Jezebel points out, the song is produced by Polow Da Don – the same producer who said he was working on a duet with Rihanna and Chris Brown during their brief reconciliation. Chances are good that this was the song they planned to release together.

While Ms. Blige is free to collaborate with whomever she chooses, it’s a bit strange and unsettling that she’s one of the first artists to team up with Chris Brown in the aftermath of his alleged attack. Mary was once the victim of domestic abuse: she has spoken publicly about the destructive relationship she endured for six years (with K-Ci of K-Ci and JoJo and Jodeci). Rich of Four Four put it best:

It’s nauseating to hear Mary share space with this guy, much less on a song about triumphing over obstacles, when one of Mary’s very public obstacles has been abuse by the hand of, wouldn’t you know, a pop singer!…Even if this collaboration is some sort of conscious move, a public act for forgiveness from the abused to the abuser, you’d think she’d at least wait till Brown’s trial was over to side with him.


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