Heidi Montag’s Playboy cover has been revealed and on it, Montag poses in a white bikini, covered in mud. We guess all the mud is supposed to make up for the fact that Heidi does not appear nude inside the magazine. We’re not sure anybody is going to see it that way.

On the cover, the mud-covered Heidi Montag also has the outline of a Playboy bunny etched onto her stomach.

Heidi’s sister confirmed that her sister doesn’t take it all off inside the magazine. Said Holly, “She’s not nude.” Well of course not, that would be ridiculous considering that Heidi and her husband Spencer Pratt are so terribly religious. Everyone knows that the Christian way to appear in Playboy is in a white bikini covered in mud. Heidi has compared herself to a modern-day Mother Theresa. We imagine Mother Theresa also would have opted to go the white bikini/mud route.

Heidi and Spencer attended the Thursday night premiere of “G.I. Joe” in LA where Spencer made the attention-hungry decision to carry Heidi’s issue of Playboy around with him for the paparazzi to see. He also made a show of kissing it several times while photographers took pictures. Yes Spencer, eat it up. You’re a moron.

(We sort of wish “G.I Joe” star Channing Tatum had come out and thrown Spencer Pratt over his shoulder, far, far away from his film’s premiere. That would have been a cool way to premiere this action movie in style.)

One person who won’t likely be picking up the upcoming issue of Playboy? Lauren Conrad. When asked by Harper’s Bazaar what she thought of Heidi’s decision to appear in Playboy Conrad said, “They’re not going to pay for themselves,” referring to Heidi’s recent boob job. Well, they kind of are. Covered in mud.